my last as projectionist (some thoughts)

so, today marks the last time i am formally serving as projectionist in service!
after more than a decade.
wow!
what a privilege to serve in this role for so long!

i always think a lot in this service role.

so many times,
SO many times
have i thought about writing an "open letter to the worship leader"
and also to pen down my thoughts & thanksgivings as projectionist.

for now... (as i procrastinate on my work)
let me present the definition of...


projectionist

/prəˈdʒɛkʃ(ə)nɪst/

noun

1. a person who is in charge of the projection of predominantly PowerPoint slides and other media, mainly on Sunday services but sometimes on other occasions.
"Would anyone like to rise up to serve in the role of the projectionist for Youth Sunday? Honestly, it is not a simple role as perceived, but you surely have a lovely team of fellow projectionists to back you up."

2. a person who is not necessarily professionally trained but serves God in his or her capacity; sometimes assumed to be technology savvy.
"The projectionist in the Chinese service today was a little slow with the transition of slides but she served in the role despite barely knowing how to use the computer. If only the congregation knew and affirmed her in her service role!"

3. a person who seems to be easily neglected when there are last minute changes to the flow of songs.
"The projectionist was caught off guard when the response song did not turn out to be the one that the team practised during worship practice. She is sad that was not informed of the change."

4. a person who very quickly comes into the limelight whenever there is an issue but seems more rarely affirmed when things are running smoothly.
"Everyone waited in anticipation as the projectionist made multiple attempts to play the video. It would be nice if the projectionist was given more time. It would also be nice that the soundman can be informed to get ready to play the sound in advance."

5. a person who receives immediate stares when a technical fault arises.
"The projectionist could sense the pressure from the stares she was receiving but she remained composed and tried to get the PowerPoint presentation to work."

6. a person who serves in close proximity (literally) with the soundman but may be absolutely clueless about what he or she does.
"The projectionist was flustered as the soundman left his post temporarily."

7. a person who is blessed to have the soundman next to him or her for company and immediate support.
"The soundman very graciously prompted the projectionist to first go forward to receive the Holy Communion. Later, the projectionist rushed back to her seat so that she can make it in time to click on the next slide."

8. a person who is blessed with a team of fellow projectionists who fully understand the challenges of the service role and readily lends a helping hand.
"The projection screen turned purple all of a sudden but a fellow projectionist appeared almost immediately to give technical support. He even tripped over a few cables so that he could render help to the then flustered projectionist. The projectionist was extremely touched by the kind gesture and remembers it till this day."

9. a person who generally has strong telepathy with the worship leader and predicts the next slide.
"The projectionist felt like she scored a goal when she clicked on the correct slide which was out of the original flow of songs."

10. a person who has less telepathy with a worship leader who is also on an instrument.
"The projectionist is very thankful that though the worship leader is on the guitar, he makes it a point to prompt the team with the lyrics of the song."

11. a person who needs to sit in front of the computer throughout the service.
"The projectionist really needed the toilet but she had to hold in her pee."


Other definitions:
12. a person who hopes to receive a set of scores too for reference.
"The projectionist wanted to check that the lyrics of the songs were correct."

13. a person who is happy to be checked upon during worship practise.
"Is everything ok? asked the worship leader. The projectionist was touched to be checked upon."

14. a person who wishes to see the worship leader's handsigns too.
"The projectionist stood up in an attempt to see the handsign of the worship leader. However, the worship leader was quite subtle about it."

15. a person who appreciates being briefed on the additional slides to be projected.
"Assuming that there could be additional files to be projected, the projectionist searched through the Desktop and looked at the tab which reads "Date modified". The projectionist opens the file just in case they need to be flashed later on."

16. a person who accidentally overlooks the clicking of the slides.
"It was a familiar song and the projectionist missed the cue to click on the next slide. Oops! She is so sorry!"

17. a person who prefers not to multitask.
"During the worship, the projectionist was informed of the file which she had to locate for the next part of the service. It was time to click on the next slide of the song. Phew! She clicked it on time."

18. a person who is likely to love keyboard hacks and takes pride in making minor changes to improve the presentation.
"The projectionist successfully darkened the font of the sermon slides subtly. She was very happy about it."

19. a person who is sometimes briefed by the speaker on when to click the slides.
"The projectionist is very thankful for speakers who provide the projectionist with their script so that she can be clear when she should click on the next slide."

20. a person who is elated to find songs which are in PowerPoint format in the songbank.
"The projectionist typed the lyrics of the new song, alternating the English and Chinese lyrics. It was tedious but it is beneficial for the next projectionist. It is such a great idea to have the songbank. Projectionists are appreciative of the person tirelessly maintaining it."

___________________________________________________________

Hope you had fun reading as much as i had typing these.

I know..

Some things happen, inevitably.

The style of servants we work with differs too.

I also recognise that this list includes things which i still find hard to let go.

It has been a long journey.

And i am thankful for it.

I am sure the other servants will have lots to share in their other service roles too!

Let us all continue to give our best for the Lord :D

(oh man i need to get back to my work! >.<)

Two coincidental

This week..
2 assignments were due
2/5 nights of sleeping
2 evenings of classes
2 many things to do

2day is finally coming to an end.

Thank God!

Not an irony

There was a conversation today about having children.

The trainees asked the trainer: "Are you married?"

"No."

"So you're single and want to have children?"
(^actually I think there's nothing wrong with this what..)

"How can you be single and have children?"

"Become a teacher! I have a lot of children, you know."

The last answer was mine. I knew I am right. And I managed to make the person who asked the previous question "realise her mistake". Hahaha! *proud* 😎

Interesting

Today's an interesting day!

My classmate came to work at my centre. And you know what.. she's employed as vp! (She's the same age as me, I really can't help but think why have I.........)

I met a s&d tch I previously worked with!

I spoke to a tch working at our school now while waiting for the new centre to open. She shared super openly and hit the bullseye in one of the qns she asked me! "Got time to............anot?"

I met a friend for dinner and he brought his son along!

Hmm. Thoughts.

Again

Those silly thoughts are back!

I remember reading a book which made me list down what are some qualities...............

I found these qualities on someone today. It's quite amazing how (in such an encounter I have learnt that) people are truly made to live together, not alone.

You know how when you are lost for words you tend to look to someone for "the word"? Someone really relied on me for words today. It's a nice feeling and I know it's nothing to think too much into.

But it made me think of what I listed many years back. And it's interesting how it helped me understand what I was actually writing. Hahaha! I confirmed that I listed a good quality 🤣

Stronger conviction

As I go along, the more I am convinced this isn't the place I want to be. Upset. Very upset.

Maybe I've just got myself to blame for making the unwise choice of choosing this place....

Why I was down

Finally managed to attempt to "close" what happened on terrible Thursday night.

I just sent a msg to someone. Here's how it goes:

"Dear MT,

Hope you are well. A long time ago when I bumped into D in school, I asked her (before your concert ticket sales started) whether I could buy a ticket to watch L’s concert. She told me that she will have to ask C and yourself and she finally got back to me last Thursday, saying that there is no more ticket left. Knowing that I may at times lack consideration, I thought hard about the reason she gave me, and why you all turned down the idea of letting me be there.

I do not know what you think about me or on what I may have done after I left, but I would like to assure you that since that time, I have not done anything that is against you or the centre. On the contrary, as I continued to gain more early childhood experiences, I have learnt to appreciate many things I have learnt in my time with L.

On Z’s departure, I had no idea about it until Z messaged me herself one month after she left. On being invited to Y’s party, it is also not a result of any contact I kept with parents of L. Her mum messaged me only because Y kept asking her about inviting me. At that time, I was so excited to receive the last minute invitation and did not think of any possible implications of attending the party until the day itself, which I later came to realise.

More recently, I was contacted by A's mum to join the girl’s birthday party. I could not make it for the party; but even if I could, I have learnt that probably I should not go.

I am writing to you today because it has been really devastating for me to know that you all would not like me to be at the concert, but I would still like to take a chance and boldly ask, is there any possibility that I may be there to help, maybe backstage?

I do not know if you will believe me if I said this, but I have really been looking forward to your concert for the entire year. I have also been telling the people around me how it is going to be so exciting to be able to now witness the concert as an audience.

If your consideration is that I should not see any of the parents, may I just pop by for a while to see the children please? I have no idea if the children remember that I told them last year that I would come to watch them this year. Maybe they do, maybe they do not. It is really my personal wish to be able to watch the concert, if you would allow?

My intention is really to watch the children whom I have had the privilege to journey with for the many years, and the K2s graduate. If it is not too much to ask, may I be there?

Thank you for your consideration.

Regards,
Xin Pei"

So, that was part of what happened.

The other parts included being unwell, overworked, totally sad, talking to __, feeling even worst, making bad decisions, feeling really pathetic and unappreciated, feeling alone and unloved, feeling that all my hard work has been for nothing, was reminded of the extremely difficult period I went through then, and a whole package of other things altogether.

Thank you everyone, for sending all your love to me when I turned to social media to "rant". I was really really really really upset. I still feel it now, but much less intense. Thank you to all the people who shared your love with me even when we are not that close. It really means a lot to me. REALLY.

(Breathe out)
I will accept the reply to the text I sent. I will try to accept, and I will learn to accept, not having any 歪主意 to change anything.

I will learn from this episode (not ended yet but I will learn from it).

God, may the outcome You want for me come true. I will commit it into Your hands. Thank You for loving me, I know, 祢爱永不变。