What keeps me motivated in the workplace?
Hmm.. Let’s contextualize it for 2018! I think there are 3 main reasons:
1) The
children I am working with
2) The
partner I am with
3) The
phase I am in
In 2018 I have worked with the
children for 1 year already. Why did I stay for that 1 year? I believe I managed
to hold on because of the hope I had that the centre will become better as I came
to know my colleagues (the people I am working with towards change) better. For
a year, I saw how things can be greatly improved on. Therefore…
Point 1: My heart really goes out for
the children I am with. I feel that since the responsibility of caring for the 2
classes has been given to me, I have the control on how these children’s
preschool experience will be. I know clearly that I was given the difficult
children, and I struggled badly along the way too. Part of it was because, I feel
that “Yes, I may seem more competent in some aspects thanks to the experience I
have gathered in this industry over the years, but that doesn’t mean you should take me for granted.”
But in any case, I was certain about
my role in the centre, something like “an advocate” for the children. By nature,
I don’t think I am such a “vocal” person. However, because of the children I wanted
to fight for (for them to have their rights and not to have these rights compromised
because they cannot speak for themselves), I chose to become as others would
see, someone with a lot of questions and a “difficult” staff.
I had one child
whom I wanted to do a lot more for, because he had very different needs from others.
I requested to take his class for this year too, but unfortunately my request could
not be fulfilled. Although I still regret that I was not able to do more, I am
glad I could make some difference in my little capacity (I hope).
Point 2: I was blessed with a
like-minded partner. I have colleagues who shared similar ideas with me too.
But really, to have someone who works especially closely with you share your
heart for the children is really important. It was a hard journey along the
way. Ke lao shi can testify for the frustrations I had and how much her poor
ears had to take in from my rants. Teacher Pris too! But we were able to support
each other so so much and give our best to our children.
The outcome? I would
think that our classes and children were handled well. We were responsible for
the children in our care and parents too. BUT, sadly.. we still hear negative
things. The worst was “Both of you are selfish. Only take care of your own
classes and never give ideas to others and help them.” Sad right? But I still
believe that as long that my conscience is clear, I am good :) Once again, I can’t
emphasize enough how having a like-minded partner is such a great blessing.
Point 3: The phase I am in
contributed to me persevering through because I am going through my studies
concurrently. Thus as I try my best to make the best out of the circumstances I
am in, I don’t want to introduce any changes (such as new workplace, children,
colleagues and parents) because I am finally more settled in, though it is not the
most ideal place to be in.
So, to end of.. Was I actually “motivated”?
I would say no, it’s more of I was clear of the reasons to persevere and not give
up. I was also blessed with the support to help me pull through.
...... (and there was a little bit more that is not suitable for posting here)
Like
I shared with you, I am actually also figuring out why am I given a long leave
in this period of my life.. Thank you for your question. I think it has helped
me to move on in my search a bit :)
Thank you for hearing me out:)
