Tough times, tough man - correlation?

I won't consider myself as tough,
Neither am I a man (hehe I had to say it :p)
But I know very well that it's by God's grace I've been pulling through...

It's so tough! Or so I say tiring, messy and frustrating?
Hmmm.
Everyday we experience being shorthanded.
The difference is being a little shorthanded or extremely shorthanded?

I really don't want to say this but..
Are we really capable of handing so many children?
Or is the focus just on filling the vacancies whether it's manageable for us or not?

I can't find motivation to go to work :(
There's little satisfaction in the work but it's more of a "phew/yes, another chaotic morning is over. Tomorrow will be another of such a day."

In the afternoon it'll be: "later you go where where where then this class that class split the children, one tch go out, the rest take __ children each.."

And the night before the next day: "can you ot? Or so and so will take someone's shift because she's on leave/mc so this carries forward to... The schedule for tomorrow will be...."

Tough times right?..

I'm gonna start another tough day now. Shall write another time.

Dear God please give me strength!

:(

Weird how my lovely sisters in Christ just quite recently told me that when i talk i should share my 委屈 and not keep things to myself.. and they tell me not to filter too much when talking cause it dilutes the actual meaning... and today... my superior said the way I talk is blunt and hurtful. Yes I did make a mistake. But aren't you responsible as well? You asked me to explain and then you ask me to stop giving you that reason which I've been trying to explain and you don't get it..

Such a stark difference and oh man.. tell me about being an alien in this world and how hard it is....😢

But still I know i need to be thankful to God for colleagues on my side. So tough... the struggles...

S.o. h.a.r.d. 😭

Would you rather..

Would you rather hear the truth or hear the well packaged story?

Bringing it forward..

Would you rather tell the truth or make up a story?

So, the child was playing toys and there was no accidents/conflicts/fights/anything. The next moment the child decided to stop playing and read a book instead. So she selected a book and walked towards me with it and i notice this super long fresh scratch on her arm.

Where did the scratch come from?

Honestly, i don't know.

"So why can't we tell the truth to the parent?" I asked the tch ic of the month.

"我只知道发生什么是一定要向家长解释。不懂也要有个完整的说法, 不可以说不知道。"

The thing is,  要挑语病的话, 真的是没"发生什么事"啊。。

In the end, the explanation was child snatched toy from friend and scratched friend. While friend was getting the toy back, friend accidentally scratched child.

Wow. How amazing. Now it's the child's fault for getting hurt.

Dear parents, would you honestly be able to know exactly how your child has gotten every single cut/scratch/wound/injury? So, would it be too much of you to accept an answer from the teacher which may suggest "I don't know what happened"? Then, can there be pure honesty in such circumstances?

Well, if I am the parent.. ok, I may find it absurd that my child's teacher doesn't know where the super long cut comes from. But I think I would rather hear the truth than to have to counsel my child for something that isn't his fault at all.

If I am the teacher (who got to speak with the parent)... I would tell the truth.

Dear God, I am sure you know what happened. Can reply the scene for me please?

Actually dear God, if it's not too much to ask, bring me back to all of such circumstances please. Especially Isaac's case. I would like to respond differently. I would actually prefer preventing Isaac's fracture too. Thanks God!

>.<

The cool thing about class today...

It is that...

I gained an idea of how to incorporate your testimony into a self introduction! My lecturer did it! And it was the best idea ever 👍😉

Me time needed

Actually.. it's more of I need time to consolidate my thoughts/learning/direction..... hmmm.

Brain is overcrowding.. mind and body is tired. But I have not given up on praying and seeking!

I really need grace to go by each day! Jiayou xp! By God's grace you can!!

Oh today marks 6 months at the new wp! Wow it's alr 6 months! Or should I say huhh...only 6 months?! I also don't know which should be the one....

Random thoughts hehe

I think that..

It's so so nice to see God's children who journey with Him ever so closely.
His blessings are also so so super evident in their lives that their lives simply proclaim how great is this God whom they believe in!

Am I like that too?

Does my life reflect Christ?

(and i got all these thoughts from browsing social media, looking at the photo journal of blessed people. Sometimes I'm really amazed with myself by how much I can think about just seemingly random things hehehe..) 😊

so hard.

dislike myself for being so weak. :/
supposed to be happily packing and then i received a super duper unkind text from my colleague and now my mood is (cry face)

the irony is that she was the one who knew i stayed back to complete my work/ prepare in advance for someone to cover me. and she had to send me such a text!

and a while later..
then i managed to find someone to help me out and i thought about the people whom i know they will be on my side..
and i experienced the warmth in people (particularly one person first) once again,
that brought a little bit of comfort but still..
why am i so weak.
:(

this is just like my not-nice-at-all experience on my last day of work.
and going through the unpleasant later allowed me to experience something so nice and warm.
is it for the contrast?
hmmm.

i asked God many times- why do i have to go through the bad so i can also see the good?

my "answer": God if i have to go through all the bad things to see the good, i will. (<- well, now i can say this for my last lap of work's bad bad experiences that has passed)

but for now..
oh man.. it's so tough.

what am i so weak :(