update time!

hello everyone! actually i don't even know if there's anyone reading this.. anw, i shall be updating a lot since i haven't posted anything in >a month! :)

IT HAS BEEN TOUGH AT WORK, very very tough.
Of tirelessly holding on to the fort, of numerous things to liaise, of scheduling, of having weird "responsibilities" being added unto you (and not phrased as a favour for you to help with)... Of not feeling appreciated, of being helpless, of being exhausted..... MY VERDICT: GOD HAS BEEN REALLY GRACIOUS.

I kept believing my boss is going to return to SG at a certain date and it just keeps getting pushed back (even right before I typed this). I was even told that she would not be announcing her return to the parents because the centre should be function-able without her. I don't know where is the accountability, I don't know where is the ownership. I don't know how many times I have been frustrated, disappointed.. BUT I KNOW, I HAVE BEEN SUSTAINED THUS FAR BY SOMEONE POWERFUL.

Let me bring you through what has happened from end Aug till now :)

So, 29 Aug was a good day when we caught a movie together :) awesome company!

Spontaneous gathering are great! :)

Fast forward to 5 Sept- Ps Raymond's wedding in the morning <3

Followed by Xin Hui's surprise farewell in the afternoon with the ever awesome and most thoughful company once again~!

It was a really heart-warming gathering. We had awesome food, had the most nonsensical conversations, played the simplest games. But it was such a great feeling to have each other!

Thank you guys for affirming through the game that...

If I were a boss, you will like to work under me. (I can't tell you how much of an encouragement is this to me right now!)

If you want to buy something expensive (or something along this line), you would like to buy it for me. (thank you for pampering me in this season of my life <3)

If you would like to bring someone out for a nice and atas meal (or something like this sorry it has been a while), you will take me along with you. (way to sweet, guys! thank you!! really needed it!)

And then fast forward to the day Xin Hui flew to Leeds~

And she embarked on her vacation with God and finally reached her hostel safely by God's grace!

Then it was 19th Sept where we just gathered for badminton thoughtfully planned by Ling. It didnt have to be competitive or aggressive. All was done in love. And it was a lovely session :) 

And it was time to say goodbye to my 知己 at the workplace. Sending her off with best wishes but knowing that things are going to be so different and I'm gonna be quite alone.. (22 Sept)

23 Sept: MYLC Reunion! Many more people to full house but I'm thankful for the message that day that God desires to see us grow in love and He has given us each other to journey together in this faith :)

25 Sept: The HAZY day which MOE schools were closed but a little one reminded me about an important lesson on persevering and never giving up. Piece by piece, we'll fix things. And don't ever look down on yourself that you are young, you can accomplish much more than what you think you can!

26 Sept: Church mid autumn event followed by big children playing with fire together. HEHE.. Yet another awesome evening spent with awesome company :')

Not forgetting our intention to gather was also to surprise someone sweet :)

27 Sept: Today we celebrated our church's anniversary and we served as ushers together! :) Can't be more thankful for these girls who responded with willing and loving hearts despite the short notice. SO THANKFUL for them! :D

Tomorrow, as I return to the battle ground, may I go forth with the full amour of God and fight a good fight for Him!

"In every victory, let it be said of me,

My SOURCE of strength, my SOURCE of hope,

is CHRIST alone!"

be thankful

Today I'm thankful for comfort food :) thankful that mummy is working the morning shift this week and she can cook dinner for the family.

This period has been kind of crazy and I haven't had time to sit down to consolidate the things I'm going through. I thought I might just breakdown anytime but God has been so gracious to have arranged some long weekends for me to rest. In this period I've also procrastinated quite a bit for the to-do list is just too overwhelming and I've accumulated some work.

But God is really merciful, He has just given me another breather (again) and this time to clear my piled up work although I've new responsibilities in this hfmd cycle. Yes, it's hfmd! No superior around so I'm coordinating and liasing almost everything but there are less children coming in. So I can do some of my accumulated marking (though paperwork & admin is crazy for hfmd) cause less children!

Do not limit God's work. God is the soveriegn One who decides which children are coming in today/ leaving earlier/ going holiday/ not coming/ kept home due to hfmd outbreak/ etc. He knows my thoughts and emotions which I cannot verbalise.

I'm not saying that hfmd is good. It's definitely not and I pray that the affected children get well soon. But I've been reminded that whatever happens are in the hands of the One above, not me. I can't explain it properly but I'm sure you who are reading this can understand, right?

Actually.. today while I was working on all the things that I have to do.. someone who added the work upon me dropped a msg to say "actually this is very good exposure for you." I really don't understand how can this person say it or what is going through her mind when she said it.. but today I wanna choose to be thankful. Because of the lesser number of children, I can clear some piled up work. Because I can go home to comfort food prepared with love. Because He lives I can face tomorrow. Because of Him I can face the "political" complications happening cause I'm not in this alone but together with Him.

Would anyone also pray with me if it's time for me to study next year? Just went unisim open house last sat. Went for the talk on course: Bachelor of Early Childhood Education with minor in something (there are a few to choose from I'll elaborate later). It's the only local ece degree! I'm looking at the part time course (yes, again). It's highly subsided by the govt for Singaporeans for up to 55% which makes it affordable and it is like the perfect match to what I want.

but... qn is: is it what God wants for me in this season of my life?

the minors (if you would like to continue hearing the story you can read on) are also so so appealing!! I can choose to minor in...

Management- something that will help me to progress towards opening up my own centre! And just minoring in this means that I still pursue early childhood studies and not just the leadership aspect of being in this line! (And that's why I didn't study early childhood leadership course like some of my friends did this year)

Psychology- something that I've been so keen to take but my results then wasn't good enough for me to enter the course.. now does this mean I can pursue my interest and further study in my field of work?

Chinese language- this is almost exactly compatible to my work now (since I'm in charge of the chinese curriculum) and it will make be a more effectively billingual teacher! But THE POINT IS of the modules I have to take, there are mods on translation!! English to Chinese and Chinese to English translation!! Which means this is going to aid my service in church to the One above!

amazing isn't it. The options that I have.. there are more, minors which I don't qualify to apply or sociology which I'm quite sure I won't choose.. these combinations itself already once again give me a glimpse to how perfect God's plan is. But I don't know what would God like for me. Not my will, but Yours, Lord. Would you join me in prayer?

when I needed it..

Before I go and zzzz...

I just wanna say something.

it isn't happy birthday sg. Hehe..

it is: thank you God for sending angels to my life!!!!!!

I've still got a hundred things to do. But encouragements and love from Above sent via angels is just wayyy to sweet!! ^^

there are 2 gifts that I received from a few angels recently! One today, and another abt 10 days back. I told the first sender I'll only open the gift on a gloomy day but today I did. Thank you for your sweetest thought and gift aq!! Love it!! :) The gift received tdy, is from the birthday girl and her sibling. I keep receiving presents from the birthday persons. I'm wayyy too blessed!! Thank you ma angels! You've just delivered really encouraging verses and note to me through your lovely gesture.

thank you God for these 3 people!! ♡

bang bang pheww pheww pheww

You know the feeling of asking someone something and it's shot back to you? And right away a whole lot of hassle is thrown right at you?

Rarrrrr!!

It has been a month since my colleague who was acting as supervisor left. So fast.. it was a sudden realisation today cause there was some admin matter I had (was obliged) to do now that a month has passed. Amazing! Amazing grace has brought me beyond a month!

I'm a month closer to ORD!

I'm coping with something which I'm not ready to share as of now. But the thing is.. it's bothering me so so much! And my phone's "memory keyboard" is totally not helping. If you dont know what I mean it's ok! Let me just note this point here. I need to let go of all expectations! Don't be silly!!

Why am I in charge of the party on Thursday? :( totally not looking forward to it. I just led the hari raya one! I never enjoyed leading the whole big group of 50+ children all at once. Because I don't think I manage the children well. But now, it's better that I lead actually. It's much more orderly. Ironic right? But, the challenge of stepping out of my comfort zone remains real. And I have a threshold for taking the lead all the time too.. understand what I mean?

awful day @ work

You know the feeling of walking out of a place feeling bad? It's like you have given your best but it's not well done. Not even medium rare haha. Anw. It's not just abt me, I can't do it alone. It's a team's work together but no one else is supporting. Stress is intense. But Grace is sufficient. Hang in there Xin Pei!!

郁闷

Upset with myself. :( Hh says don't have any expectations. Maybe that will help.

no excuses

let it go! clear your mind!! set your eyes on the eternity!! yess!! do it!!!