Sunday 25 October 2020

"Grandma Duties" in Paradise

Hi, if you are reading i just wanted to share that my 大姨 was called home to God on 13/10 night. My family was attending to her funeral matters and her body was cremated on 17/10. 

My 大姨 was suffering a lot physically but managed to hold on by God's grace to see her son who returned from overseas and all her grandchildren who visited that night. I thankful that God sustained her. 😬

During the wake, my extended family worked hard to let everyone who had shared a part my 大姨's life/ came for the funeral to remember her and give thanks for the life she lived.

We also managed to put together a video in remembrance of her. If you have some time and like to, you can click on the link to watch the video.
 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YgcSI2Rx1EhEDGb5rPv3Oss6PZbEqqGb/view?usp=sharing

May I ask that you keep my family in prayer please? A lot of our lives were planned around caring and being with my 大姨。Now that she is no longer physically present with us, I think there is a void that is very significant especially to my aunt, my mum and my 大姨's immediate family. Thank you for keeping us in prayer. 

Wednesday 7 October 2020

For the first time

For the first time I thought about getting someone to pose as my other half so that I can let a 长辈安心。

For the first time I feel I'm gonna just 豁出去 and don't care about my 面子. Had the the idea to just 公开寻找 whoever can help me with the above because I am pretty sure I have friends who won't mind helping me for the cause.

Crazy isn't it.

My thoughts have been wild because things have been so hard to bear.

For the first time I had someone broke down so badly in front of me. 

For the first time I had to hear such heartbreaking news in a family conference. 

For the first time I talked to a doctor from the palliative care department.

For a first time I found it so hard to reply the message: hope she recovers soon.

God, I know You are gracious and merciful.
Help us please... 

Friday 10 May 2019

I can totally relate to this

"[T]he only things keeping me from resigning until now were the love I have for my students, the love I have for the act of teaching, and the heavy guilt I feel for my children being negatively impacted by this in any way: emotionally or academically," McCall wrote in the document. "However, I cannot set myself on fire to keep someone else warm."

https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/living/story/teacher-shared-resignation-letter-quitting-job-28-62850547

Saturday 4 May 2019

"Though I just took over from _____ abruptly, I can feel that it seems that the usage of the new projection screen for tomorrow has not been properly planned for/ we are not as ready as we should be. Was the installation of the screen out of the planned timeline? I understand that you all are helping me out with the ppt tmr hence the creation of this group. However, don't you think that it's a little too much to ask for in such a short time frame? And because I can't let you have the slides as soon as you want due to my schedule this evening, I have to implicate you all by holding you up. Question is why did it have to turn out this way? And why is your tone so BAD?"

Tuesday 8 January 2019

I was asked a question, here's the answer (if you will like to hear:D)


What keeps me motivated in the workplace?
Hmm.. Let’s contextualize it for 2018! I think there are 3 main reasons:

1) The children I am working with
2) The partner I am with
3) The phase I am in

In 2018 I have worked with the children for 1 year already. Why did I stay for that 1 year? I believe I managed to hold on because of the hope I had that the centre will become better as I came to know my colleagues (the people I am working with towards change) better. For a year, I saw how things can be greatly improved on. Therefore…

Point 1: My heart really goes out for the children I am with. I feel that since the responsibility of caring for the 2 classes has been given to me, I have the control on how these children’s preschool experience will be. I know clearly that I was given the difficult children, and I struggled badly along the way too. Part of it was because, I feel that “Yes, I may seem more competent in some aspects thanks to the experience I have gathered in this industry over the years, but that doesn’t mean you should take me for granted.”

But in any case, I was certain about my role in the centre, something like “an advocate” for the children. By nature, I don’t think I am such a “vocal” person. However, because of the children I wanted to fight for (for them to have their rights and not to have these rights compromised because they cannot speak for themselves), I chose to become as others would see, someone with a lot of questions and a “difficult” staff. 

I had one child whom I wanted to do a lot more for, because he had very different needs from others. I requested to take his class for this year too, but unfortunately my request could not be fulfilled. Although I still regret that I was not able to do more, I am glad I could make some difference in my little capacity (I hope).

Point 2: I was blessed with a like-minded partner. I have colleagues who shared similar ideas with me too. But really, to have someone who works especially closely with you share your heart for the children is really important. It was a hard journey along the way. Ke lao shi can testify for the frustrations I had and how much her poor ears had to take in from my rants. Teacher Pris too! But we were able to support each other so so much and give our best to our children. 

The outcome? I would think that our classes and children were handled well. We were responsible for the children in our care and parents too. BUT, sadly.. we still hear negative things. The worst was “Both of you are selfish. Only take care of your own classes and never give ideas to others and help them.” Sad right? But I still believe that as long that my conscience is clear, I am good :) Once again, I can’t emphasize enough how having a like-minded partner is such a great blessing.

Point 3: The phase I am in contributed to me persevering through because I am going through my studies concurrently. Thus as I try my best to make the best out of the circumstances I am in, I don’t want to introduce any changes (such as new workplace, children, colleagues and parents) because I am finally more settled in, though it is not the most ideal place to be in.

So, to end of.. Was I actually “motivated”? I would say no, it’s more of I was clear of the reasons to persevere and not give up. I was also blessed with the support to help me pull through.


...... (and there was a little bit more that is not suitable for posting here)

Like I shared with you, I am actually also figuring out why am I given a long leave in this period of my life.. Thank you for your question. I think it has helped me to move on in my search a bit :)

Thank you for hearing me out:)

Thursday 15 November 2018

Deciphering young minds? Hahaha..

My dear special boy's mum made a comment today and it really made my day :)

It has been a few weeks since he started his speech therapy.

The therapist said that the boy seem to love English more than Chinese! He speaks and responds more to English too! (The boy has a Chinese speaking background.)

"Is he always exposed to English language in school? Or does he really like his English teacher?" the therapist asks.

I would like to think it's the latter. I actually always speak to him in English and then I'll translate what I said. 😊

Though the boy is still non-verbal for now.. I'm glad that a third person can read his mind and interpret this encouraging message:")

(Actually i don't know what the speech therapist mean by the boy speaking in English.. I wonder how she does it.. I would like to hear from him too!!)

Sunday 7 October 2018

TPCMC45

While there are people who are not nice, there are people who are genuine and so so sweet.

Similar names, contrasting actions...

Well, the long projectionist post didn't help me to get over things afterall...

The point above aside, family is truly ♡